His Name is Mudd
by Sir Starlll
Summary: What if Link got attacked on the road? Then after hunting the attacker, they were forced to be allies? Who would think that someone named Mudd would have such a story. Some MalonxOC Final Chapter UP! Chapter 13 is gone. Ask to see it.
1. Chapter 1

A/N This is my first fanfic, so sorry if it's bad. Also, it takes place during Ocarina of Time.

Disclaimer: I don't own Link or Epona or hyrule or blah blah blah why do I have to put this here anyway?

CHAPTER 1

His name is Mudd

Hyrule is a very strange place. It is suppriseingly small, it has people who say the same thing every time you talk to them, and they even have some mystical object that is called a Triforce. (Of course you know all this, you play the games!) But probably the strangest thing is a boy named Link. He's a master swordsmen, who is always wearing a green tunic. He has a female horse named Epona, and an annoying blue fairy named Navi… although he/she won't be in this fanfic. Right now, he's rubbing twigs together to make a fire in the middle of the night.

"THAT'S IT!! I give UP!!" Link yelled. "Looks like I have to sleep with only bugs to keep me warm. AGAIN!! Strike me down with lightning if someone is smart enough to make a fire like this."

In his rage he threw a stick into the pile he'd been trying to light. Then Epona walked over and held one stick still with one paw and rubbed it against her horseshoe, creating a spark and lit the entire pile of wood.

"HOLY DIN!!"

As Link took out meat to cook, it started to rain and you know what happened to the fire.

"FLIPPING FAORE!! Now I have have no fire, soggy meat, and it's raining! But I know you'll camp out with me Epona… Epona?"

Epona however, was already inside a log cabin that she built. Link wasn't getting in, that's for sure.

&the&next&day&

A cucco was wandering around Hyrule field. It had escaped from Kakariko village, and had no intention of going back. The cucco's name was Clukko, and he belonged to some girl who was always losing her cuccos. You know the one I'm talking about right? She has to be waited on hand and foot because she can't pick he pets up?

"CLUCK CLUCK CLUCKITY CLUCK."

Translation: "I'm glad I got away from that psycho girl in Kakariko!"

_**Flashback!!**_

"_Oh thank you! I can't touch my cuccos because I get goose bumps whenever I touch them._

"_Then why do you keep all them?"A guy in green asked._

"_Am I paying you to talk!?"_

"_I'm getting payed?"_

"_Oh yes, take this! It's fine glass, so it should con some shop owner."_

"_YIPPEE! A purple ruppe! It's worth so much I can- did you say this is glass? As in not real?"_

_But the psycho lady was gone._

"Run cuccos! Go free! Stay away from her!" Link yelled, slashing the_ fence._

_**END OF FLASHBACK!!**_

"HEY!" Clukko thought "It's that guy who set us free!"

Link was laying on the ground, sopping wet and freezing cold with 5 o' clock shadow on his face.

"He's a hobo? Maybe I can wake him up."

So Clukko hopped onto his stomach and did what cuccos do best:

"COCADOODLEDO!"

"I don't want to go to school, Great Deaku tree. I want to stay and plan world domination with you!" Link said, not waking up.

"COCADOODLEDO!"

This time Link went upright, screaming and flailing his arms everywere.

"I SURRENDER!! I SURRENDER!! SWEET MOTHER OF NYRU!!"

"This is awkward." The cucco thought and walked away.

Epona came out of her hut and nudged the screaming person to tell him everything was alright.

"Um… yes… let's get going now okay?"

So the idiot- I mean Link and his super smart horse went rideing away Towards Lake Hylia.

"Hello" A dark figure said on the horizon.

Starlll: This is where it gets good.

"Don't come any closer."

But Link slowly walked towards him, sword in hand.

The shadowy figure took out a longbow, choosing an arrow from his quiver.

"There's no need for that." Link said cautiously.

"If Link challenges him, then that other guy, he'll be dead in seconds!" Epona thought. "He might be a fool, but he is a master at his craft."

But the man kept his cool "There's no need to come any closer."

Link took a step back to show he meant no harm, and in return the man loosened his grip on the bow.

"Annoying how serious you have to be near other riders isn't it?" Link asked, no longer seeing him as a threat and stepping off his horse.

"True. Don't worry, this bow is for decoration only."

"My sword isn't. My name's Link by the way."

"I'm Staff." He said as Link realized how raspy Staff's voice was, although he didn't voice his opinions.

"Well good luck wherever you're going."

"You too." He replyed as he hoped back on his horse and rode away.

"He's fast." Link said as he watched the man ride away. "Well we ought to get going Epona."

Link swung his rupee bag over his shoulder, and noticed how light it felt.

"Oh no he didn't!" Link yelled as he saw a note inside his bag.

_**I'm sorry I took from you, but you have to understand.**_

_**I need this money, and you also have a glass rupee in there,**_

_**don't counterfeit! You really shouldn't be so relaxed.**_

_**P.S. My name isn't Staff, it's Mudd**_.

"He's gonna PAY!!" Link yelled, counting 150 missing rupees. "Come on Epona, I'm going to hunt him down!"

A/N Sorry it started out slow, but I'm horrible at beginnings. Really horrible. Anyway, it'll get better as it goes along.


	2. Hunt him down

A/N sorry if you didn't like the first chapter, don't worry I'll try to fix the Errors that I made. Just keep reading. No really,

keep reading. JUST (censored) KEEP READING!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Link or any other Zelda-related figures. Just Mudd. Only Mudd. And his horse, for that matter.

P.S. Here are some things you should know about Mudd

Name: Mudd (no last name given)

Height: Half a head shorter than Link.

Weight: Oh yeah, the first thing I do is ask how much a guy weighs.

Personality: Grim (unless near a certain person, but that's a different chapter.)

Weapon of choice: Longbow.

Appearance: Black/grey tunic with pitch black hair. Piercing Mud brown eyes and pale white skin. Two throwing knives at his

Side and a Saxe knife (a dagger/short sword combo) at the other side.

CHAPTER 2: PESUING THE THIEF

"C'mon, just a little bit faster." Link whispered to his horse. The horse chase had been going for about half an hour now and Link was finally catching up. "I've never seen anything go this fast in my life."

Link tried to shoot Mudd with his bow several times before, but he would either lose momentum or just plain out miss.

"Why won't he give up?" Mudd thought from a distance away. "It is obvious that by the time he catches up, we'll be in Gruedo valley and the mountains will make it impossible to find a dying mule, let alone me."

His horse (named Arrow) was capable of moving with enough speed and grace to outrun anyone and anything… or so Mudd thought. Epona was starting to gain on him. But they could already see the red mountains, and Spanish music was already playing in the background.

"Where the heck did he go?!" Link yelled, which echoed through the canyon. "Hey, that gives me an idea: if I stand still long enough, I might hear Mudd echo through the valley!"

Epona simply stared at him.

"I know: he probably just heard that."

More staring.

"I know you can't talk, but sometimes I like to pretend you can so I don't feel lonely."

Epona's glance changed.

"I'm going to pretend that I didn't just pretend to hear that."

And suddenly, there was an echo. Use your imagination as to what it sounded like: I'm not feeling very creative today.

(Don't pursue him!) An angel/Sara said, appearing on his shoulder. (Who knows what hardships he is going through!)

Attack him! That's your money! A devil/Mido screamed into his ear.

Show him that you mean business!

"I should attack him shouldn't I?"

(No, don't. You were once low on rupees. Remember? You wanted a slingshot to play with as a child, but you couldn't afford it. Then Mr. sensitive over there bought it. Remember how it felt?)

This is more than a stupid slingshot! This is your money! Your purple rupee! You worked semi-hard for it! And then HE waltzes over and takes it away!

"Your right Mido! I never thought I'd say that… and by the way, shouldn't you two be on someone else's shoulders?"

(Charity.)

Charity!? I thought we were getting paid! Devil Mido screamed before disappearing.

(Drama Queen.) Angel Sara commented before leaving in a cloud of white smoke.

Link jumped onto his horse with a moment's hesitation and started to chase after him. Again.

"Finally!" Link thought as he found Mudd.

Mudd was on his horse. Link would have been happy, if he hadn't seen the longbow pointed at him from at least 300 meters away.

"Oh COME ON!!" Link yelled over the distance. "YOU CAN'T HIT ME!"

Sheeeeeeeew-thunk!

An arrow hit the side of the canyon… at least half a foot away from his head. So much for it being a decoration.

"Okay… no need for that." Link called over from a distance. _I should of listened to Sara. Oh well. No turning back now._

Another arrow came soaring through the air, this time there was a note attached to it that Link had to get off Epona to read. _Maybe he just had a lucky shot earlier. _He thought as he read it.

Good. Now that you're off your horse,

you ought to turn it around and put this

on it.

_So much for a lucky shot_. He thought as a solid black blindfold dropped out from the paper. _If he knew that I would have to get off Epona, then he really must be good. But that shot was impossible… wasn't it?_

He did as the note instructed.

"WELL!! IS THIS IT!!" Link yelled. He finally realized that he probably wasn't going to get out of this situation. "IS THIS IT!! AFTER ALL OF THE TIMES I ESCAPED DEATH, AFTER ALL THE ENIMIES I KILLED, I'M GOING TO DIE FROM A PETTY THIEF!!"

"No… but something real like that." Link could just make out Mudd's words, and then an arrow came forward and hit him in the head.

**THE END**

Just kidding.

Yes, an arrow did come forward, and it did hit him in the head. But it had no point, and a deku-nut was tied to the end which left him paralyzed.

_So that's why he made me tie a blindfold to Epona: so she wouldn't get scared. Genus!_

But it was that moment, when Link was paralyzed and His horse was blind folded that an army of Gruedo were behind Mudd, attracted by Link's shouting.

Whew. That was a long chapter. Sorry about how horrible the first chapter was. Hey don't sick your hounds on me! NO NOT THE FACE!! NOT THE FACE MAN!! Thank you for reviewing Jane O'Callaghan!!

NO!! THAT DOESN'T BEND THAT WAY!! SWEET LORD NO!!


	3. Free Fall

A/N I know they're hasn't been much action yet, but there will be soon. Also, Thanks for reviewing BTM707!

Last time:

"_Is this it? Am I going to be killed by a PETTY THEIF!?"_

_It was at that moment, when Link was stunned, and a thief had him at bow point, that a small army of Gruedos decided to show up behind Mudd._

This time:

"Oh come ON!!" Mudd yelled. "Can't you people ambush me later?!"

The Gruedos seemed to have other plans though. They wanted to kill him.

"Surrender!" The female chief said, with a hint of threat.

"You mean to me? Fine, I accept you surrender."

The archeries raised their bows, and everyone (and Link) expected him to drop down and cry, like every other person ever to have crossed them. But Mudd held his ground, unfazed by the sudden ambush.

"Any last words?" She asked, a knife suddenly up to Mudd's neck.

"Yeah: Over my dead body."

And with that, he was off. He said something undecipherable do his horse which broke off running (with Mudd on it) and he grabbed the still paralyzed Link onto his horse.

"Don't you **dare** call me a petty thief again." Then he took the blind fold off Epona and hit her with his bow string (He's not cruel, Link slaps her to speed up all the time). Epona ran freely with no current master to guide her. Although she was going the right direction, Link still made a quick prayer to the goddesses that she would be all right.

Mudd and Link (Who was starting to loosen) rode away from the Gruedos, who were starting to shoot at them. Link couldn't believe that they might pull this off.

"_Were going to escape!" _Link thought. Then several Gruedos slashed the bridge's suspension bonds and the bridge fell beneath them. "_We're not going to escape!"_

The incredibly gifted horse jumped at the last second and got to the other side. Although Link and Mudd weren't on him.

"_Why are we falling!?"_

Flashback!!

_Mudd was on his horse, who's name is Arrow, and he realized that the Gruedos were slashing the rope bonds on the bridge._

"_Why are things never straightforward?" He then gave Arrow the code to jump, then keep running._

_He grabbed Link and jumped off, hoping that the water level would save them._

_END OF FLASHBACK!!_

Eventually they stopped falling and broke the river level.

It was then that Link passed out.

"_Great._" Now Mudd was faced with a new challenge: Keeping Link afloat.

Mudd couldn't believe how this day was turning out:

First he was being attacked by a person dressed like an idiot ,

Then an army of Gruedos were after him,

And now he was saving the very person who was trying to kill him.

"I'll kill him if I die." He said, swimming towards the green person.

A/N sorry this chapter was so short, I'm having trouble thinking of ideas. Suggestions are welcome! Come on! Review! Click on the blue box!

Dooo it! Dooooooooooooo it! DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO IT!!


	4. The Fourth Chapter

A/N sorry if it took me long to post this, my teachers are giving me an endless amount of homework. Thanks for reviewing everybody!

P.S. Free advertisement: Check out Jane O' Callaghan's friendly Truth or dare, It's hilarious!

"Uhhhh…" Link said, without the energy to speak. "Ut ha hec?"

(What the heck?)

He had to struggle to open his eyes. Looking around was a different task altogether. He then realized what was happened earlier and looked for something that would tell him where he was, like a flag post or building. It looked like he was in a cave.

And he couldn't see anything that resembled a landmark.

However, he did see a figure in a black and grey tunic.

"Good, you're finally awake. You hit your head quite hard on the rocks back in the valley. You've been asleep for some time now."

"Air I?"

"Don't try to talk in full sentances. You're in an underwater cave, after you dropped out of concousness, I took you here to rest. Here, I'll show you in a flashback if you're up to it."

"'Oh, is ohay." Then mustering all his strength, he made a quick pun. "Oil 'than."

(No, it's okay.) (Oil Can.)

Mudd eyebrow. _I mean Mudd raised one eyebrow! Why can't I think straight? _Link mentally slapped himself.

"The Wizard of Oz? You're kidding me."

"Can I 'ave my nee back?"

(Can I have my money back?)

"I saved your life. I think I earned it." Mudd replied. _He has a pretty good grasp on reailty._

"Afer you pu' it in danger!" Link tried to yell. It was exhausting.

"Tell you what, you can have half of what I took. Like I said: I need this money. More than you can understand." Mudd was also raising his voice.

"What… you 'ose it all in bet?"

Mudd walked the green clothed man. _I mean Mudd walked over TO THE green clothed man._

"Take this and go back to sleep. You need to rest." Then he said something Link had to strain his ears to hear, giving him two purple rupees (Not fake). "I liked you better asleep better."

Link slowly rose to his feet, shaking. "If you won't give it all to me, I'll fight you for it!" He then slowly rose his sword.

"You're kidding me right? You can barely stand! Are you brave or just plain stupid?"

"You know what? I'm both."

Then link collapsed from exhaustion.

"Tsk tsk."

() () One

( oo) Day

0() Later:

Link woke up again, wondering what happened, than it hit him like two tons of steel and iron bricks droping on his head from fifty-five feet high. What, You never heard that one before?

"Good, you're finally awake. You hit your head quite hard on the rocks back in the valley. You've been asleep for some time now."

"I know. You told me."

"Good, no sense of déjà vu. Now what's the capital of Termina?"

"Clock town… holy Din my head hurts."

"Yes, that's natural. Now what's twelve-hundred times eighty-two?"

"Can I just have something to eat?"

!#&()!#&()!#&()!#&()!#&()!#

Mudd later took Link out of the cave (having been assured that he was up to it). He couldn't belive Mudd actually said that he could go when he asked.

Link then almost instantly regretted asking, he had forgot it was an underwater cave. He was forced to hold his breath for three minutes.

You don't think that's much? Try it.

Link's head bobbed above the surface, gasping for air. Mudd wasn't having similar problems though, he seemed to actually was quite relaxed after being in the lake water.

"Why are… you not…-"

"I'm part zora. To me that was like a breath of fresh air. I could go much longer, in fact… although I have a limit."

"Amazing." Link had met actual zora before, but he was astounded by a part-zora. "About how long _can_ you hold your breath?"

"I'd say about five hours. Six tops."

This guy keeps getting more and more interesting.

+)(&#!+)(&#!+)(&#!+)(&#!+)(&

Later that very same day:

"That was the best dinner I had in a long time." Mudd said.

It was earlier that day Mudd and Link found their horses and had dinner. Normally Mudd would have simply walked away, not careing what happened to Link, but he felt he owed him. Link offered to cook if Mudd started the fire (for obvious reasons) and the swordsmen made one of his best meals yet.

"You know, it's ironic. Had you never robbed me, we wouldn't be here, eating this."

"Yeah, and you know, I feel like I've known you for a very long time."

Apparently, that sentence angered Link.

"You do not know anything about me. All you did was heal me from my concussion. That you caused."

"I know more about you than you think." The black-clad figure said. "I can tell because you dropped your guard almost the moment we met. You also speak to your horse like it is a human, and your hat was filled with mostly ripped pictures of other people. I'm guessing that some died. For others, things don't come around very often. I know more about you than you think."

Link closed his eyes, walking back to his cabin, the speech playing in his head relentlessly.

Finally Link came to a conclusion about what he heard:

_He's right._


	5. What Now? Aka Sharks and racing

A/N :

Starlll: Sorry for all the drama last chapter, I was just watching desperate house wives last night and-

Mudd: You watch Desperate House wives!?

Starlll: Just do the disclaimer!

Mudd: Never Idiot!

Starlll: What did you just say?!

Mudd: I said that Link and all Zelda related titles belong to a whole bunch of people in the game credits, Sir. You only own me and my horse Sir. And you look dashingly handsome today, Sir.

Free Advertisement: Check out "A Perfect Blue" by Lostwonder15! It's about what would happen if Link was raised by the Sheikah tribe.

\ CHAPTER 5: What next? /

"So what now?" Link asked the marksmen.

"I don't know. Maybe we could go to Lon- Lon."

"Okay. That's where I got Epona, I won her in a race as a child."

"You know, I also got Arrow there." Mudd replied, remembering the moment. "It was about ten years ago…-"

"Yay!! Flashback!"

_Flashback!!_

_A ten year old boy in a blue-ish Grey tunic was walking through a ranch. It was farm day, so there were dozens of hyrulians passing by, some buying vegetables, some buying meat, but most of all, people were betting on horse races. _

_The ten year old had managed to multiply his rupees by at least five. There was one race left, and he knew who to bet on. It was a Grey-brown horse who seemed to be much fatter than usual. Fat as it was, It could move._

"_I'm sorry everyone, but Crossbow won't be here during the final race." The announcer said before the betting started again. Crossbow was the horse's name._

_Ignoring the protests of the angry drinking buddies who were going to "Bet all their rigidly-rad rupees" on her._

_Wondering what had happened to Crossbow, the boy snuck into the stables._

"_Note to self:" He said as he ducked into the shadows. "Blue-Grey isn't dark enough. Try dark brown." _

_As the strange boy found the horse, he saw two other men beside her, cleaning Crossbow off. Next to Crossbow was a foal that had just been born._

_The boy climbed the rafters before he got any closer, then he listened to the men talk:_

"_What in tar nation should we do, Ingo?"_

"_I don't know, you're the head of the ranch, not me. Even though I should be." _

"_WHAT WAS THAT!?"_

"_Nothing. Maybe we could sell the foal to work a glue factory."_

"_You mean like a head manager?" The boss asked, not understanding._

"_Actually, I'll buy it." The boy said, appearing as if he came out of the ground._

"_By Din where did you come from!?" Ingo asked._

"_He probably came from Hyrule to bet on horses."_

"_No, I mean how did he get right here without us seeing him?"_

_Then the boy spoke up again: "I'll buy the horse for three hundred rupees."_

"_One moment." The boss picked up hi cup of coffee, gargled some, then spit it out on the offerer's face. "Three hundred!?"_

"_Take it or leave it."_

"_I want it! I want it!"_

"_I don't know, it is a lot of money… one hundred rupees."_

"_No way! Two hundred."_

"_One-fifty, final offer."_

"_Done!"_

_The boy walked away, handing him the money. A ten year old boy just offered three hundred, then payed one fifty._

_END OF FLASHBACK!!_

"So THAT's what happened to Crossbow!" The green man (not Luigi) exclaimed.

"Yes. How did you get that font?"

"What font?"

"The word 'THAT's' is a different font."

Link shrugged. Fan fiction probably changed it.

!!#&()+!#&()+!#&()+&()+)&

"Hey Mudd, check this out." Link pointed to a sign on a wall reading:

HELLO LADIES AND GERMS.

I'M DR. DOOFINSHNATS OF THE LAKE. MY PRECIOUS TIGER-SHARK HYBRID IS LOOSE IN MY GIANT TANK AND HE MIGHT EAT ALL MY CUTSEY-WUTSEY FISHIES! SHARK-WRANGLERS ARE WELCOME TO HELP.

REWARD:

"I don't know... anyone who makes a tiger and shark hybrid is insane. How could the two mix?" Mudd replied.

"We could deal with the insanity for a while, let's go!"

"Wait a moment! That's the same font from before!"

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

2:35 P.M. Standard time.

A strange scientist greeted them at the door and welcomed them in.

"So you TIGGITY-TIGGITY-two boys are here to stop my SHARKY-WARKY-KLARKY-shark?" The creepy scientist asked.

"You're right, he's crazy, let's run..." Link whispered to Mudd.

"I'll take out the shark, as long as that's fresh water, not salt. Salt burns my Zora lungs."

"Oh goodies. I THIGGITY-THIGGITY-thought you might say that."

In under four second, Mudd took out his longbow, cocked an arrow, and shot the hybrid-shark.

"So that's IGGITY-IGGITY-it?"

"No." Replied Link. "Now one of us has to fight that monster back into it's cage while the other fixes the iron bars."

Mudd took off his bow and told the physic guy "If you touch my bow, I'll put you in the cage with your Shiggity-Shiggity-shark. Kapesh?"

The horrified man nodded his head and backed away.

"Okay, Let's do this." The green man (not Luigi) said.

And then they both dived in.

A/N Sorry I haven't posted in so long. Micrsoft word doesn't work anymore. So I installed something else.

Also, If you use the Zora tunic and iron boots, you can actually see a shark behind a cage in the Scientist's house.

Mudd: Review or I'll find you!

Starlll: Mudd. Don't threaten the readers.


	6. To LonLon!

Starlll: Okay readers, I want you to review RIGHT NOW! Just skip to the bottom and read it later. It will still be here when you get back just do it.

For those of you who did what I said, Thank you, you're awesome!!

For those of you who didn't (LAZY!!), enjoy.

MUDD!! DO THE DISCLAIMER!!

Mudd: (From inside the shark's mouth) I'm kinda busy right now!

Starlll: FINE!!

Disclaimer: Why do I have to put this here? I mean really "I'm all of the people who made Zelda pretending to be some random kid with a strange pen name and we're using this fan fic to see if people like Mudd". Yeah Major Samantha Carter, I just stole you disclaimer:-p

Note: I don't really mean that, for all you potential layers.

There was a large splash as Mudd and Link dived in. Mudd swam down and started to use his knives slash through the mortar base on the iron bars that the freakish shark's cage, while Link silently swam up to the tiger-shark monster and ripped out the Grey-shafted arrow.

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." The spectator said as he watched Mudd, holding his breath for a ridiculously long time. "Black tarantula tattoos on both wrists, mud-brown eyes, he can hold his breath like a Zora... big elbows." He smiled. " A perfect match."

The strange man turned on music.

Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA Dun-DA.

Mudd jumped out of the water and a threw a knife at the twenty thousand dollar sound-system and it exploded.

Back underwater:

Link was fighting the shark like a giant... well, shark. The monster was darting at him faster than you can blink. The fact that fish kept nibbling at his feet wasn't helping either.

"Come on boy... considering that you're not a girl. Come and get me, I just wanna stab you."

On average, Link would be gaping for air, but the whack-job scientist lent him a strange device that could give you up to an hour's shallow breathing.

Link had practiced years to take out creatures just like this. It was now that all his practice let him down.

"What the-" Link yelled underwater. The shark swallowed him whole.

Mudd couldn't believe how easily that monster swallowed him. He kicked off from the ground and tackled the tiger-shark, ripping into it's sand-paper flesh with his Saxe knife, then his throwing knife.

Mudd pried open it's jaws and helped Link get out as the unusual hybrid fell to the ground.

"So much skipping back and forth. I'm going to kill the author when I get back." Mudd said as he and Link climbed back on the land. "This was one of his stupidest fights yet."

"Oh GIGIDDY-GOGGADY-good. You caught him. He's still alive... right?"

"Oh, um-sure." Link lied.

"Perfect. I haven't properly introduced myself: I am Professor Doofinshnats. GRIGGIDY-GRIGGIDY-great job fighting that, I mean: POW!! BAM!! CHOMP!! STAB-STAB!! Real entertainment."

"Uh, yeah. Just give us what we just risked our lives for." Link said, annoyed. At least underwater he couldn't hear this freak.

"Now WIGGIDY-WAGGIDY-what is the little word that gets things done."

Then Mudd stepped forward. "Give it to us. NOW."

1234567890-+)(&#!1234567890-+)(&#!1234567890-+)(&

"So to Lon-Lon?" Asked the green man (not Luigi).

"Of course."

"So should we just skip forward to the scene where we approach Lon-Lon?"

"Why not." Mud replied.

Is this In a different font? It probably isn't. Oh well.

"Here we are" Link said.

"I... know. I've been here before."

Then a red-head called out, "MUDD?! LINK?!"

"Hey Malon!" Both called out, Mudd slightly more excited.

"Looks like you two finally met, come on!"

Both Mudd and Link followed on horseback.

"You know her?" Link asked.

"I told you, I've been here before."

It was getting late, so Malon offered them to stay at Lon-Lon for the night. They accepted of coarse, it would be rude to say no.

Inside the cabin,

1:42 A.M. Hyrule standard time.

Link woke up, forgetting that he was at the ranch. It took him a moment to remember where he was. He was surprised to see Mudd, grunting in pain.

Silently, he crept over to see what was wrong.

"Go... back to sleep." Mudd told him stifling with pain. He was holding both wrists, where the tarantula tattoos are.

"Let me see that." Link replied, ignoring what Mudd said and pulling apart his hands. "What the ?!" The usually dark black tattoos were bright red, like molten metal.

Slowly, Link touched it, instantly pulling his hands back and steering at his index finger. It looked and felt he stuck his finger onto a grill. "Will you tell me what's going on!?"

"Keep your voice down. Just go back to sleep and forget this ever happened." And with that, Mudd knocked Link clean off his feet and put the unconscious Link back into his bed.

"Din that hurts." Mudd said, poking the red hot tarantula again. "Din this hurts." He said, before laying back on his cot. "Din this hurts."

A/N for those of you who did what I said and skipped down here, Congratulations, you just went up another notch on my scale. Those of you who didn't, to bad. For those of you who didn't do what I said at the beginning and are now going to review and lie, you stink. And finally, for you people who just read and don't review, I'm going to send a pack of wild OC's at you.

P.S. You're about to be attacked by a panther and don't know it.


	7. Clucko Returns!

A/N

Starlll: Sorry if it took me long to post this, I'm running low on ideas. I'll have to get Pearson (peer-sun) to send more from my brain.

Mudd: Isn't Pearson you alter ego or something?

Starlll: He's also my conscious. I also can't believe no one did what I said last chapter!

Mudd: People often don't do what you say, they usually do the exact opposite.

Starlll: SHUT UP!!

Pearson: Here are the ideas you asked for. (Hands Starlll a stack of paper)

Starlll: (reads the paper, laughs, then starts crying, smiles, and looks up.) Okay, just so you know, Mudd in this story is the Ocarina of time generation, and for those of you who read Jane O' Callahan (I bet I slept it wrong)'s "friendly" truth or dare, I sent her the Wind Waker Generation. Two totally different people.

Pearson: I wonder why nobody was curious what the psycho scientist meant by "perfect match".

Disclaimer: I own Mudd, and none of you can have him! MUAHAHAHAHA!!

Chapter 7: Clukko returns!

Link stumbled out of bed that morning. He slept better in the cot than he had in years, but one thing was nagging at the corner of his mind. He had a very strange dream last night, Mudd's tarantula tattoos were burning like molten metal, and he could have sworn he felt heat coming from it. He couldn't have dreamed that up.

Could he?

He decided to ask Mudd about it, who was currently eating Hyrule-O's for breakfast.

"Hyrule-O's? Those things are just bad marketing." Link said, trying to start a conversation.

"Tell me about it, just the picture on the box makes it look stupid."

The two tarantulas on his wrists were black, like usual.

"Hey Mudd, can I ask you a question?"

"I believe you just did."

"I had a strange dream last night." Link said uncomfortably. "Your tattoos were... glowing, and I tried to touch them, but they were hot as the sun. I don't think I could have dreamed that heat up."

"First off, why'd you try to touch them? And second, as you can see, my tattoos are fine now." Mudd told him, showing him his right arm.

"I guess it was probably was a dream. It looked so real though. I wonder if there was a slight possibility that maybe-"

A flash of annoyance came across Mudd's face. "Looks can be deceiving! Do you really think that if my arms were burning, I wold just lie there?!"

His sudden flash of anger surprised Link, and the cows for that matter.

Then the cows/ bull started to butt their heads against the wall, and a wooden plank came out, breaking a window pane, on piece stabbing a cucco, who's loud crowing startled a horse...

2 miles and 30 minutes later...

Who's constant eating made another guy fat, who startled a cucco. A very special cucco for that matter, who's name is Clukko. He was in the first chapter, and woke Link (who saved him from that psycho cucco woman) and walked away.

Clukko knew that only one person could start a chain reaction that long. Who that one person is, he didn't know. So he just flew to the one cucco sanctuary in Hyrule. Lon-Lon ranch.

BACK WITH LINK. WHY IS THE CAPS LOCK ON?

MUD- I mean, Mudd walked out of the kitchen and into the stables, muttering "Idiot."

"What's up with him?" Malon asked Link, entering the room.

Link shrugged, and asked "What's up with you and Mudd?"

"Ex-excuse me?"

"I've seen the way that you look at him. When nobody's looking, you stare at him like he's some sort of hero." Link said, knowing that he was right.

"Well... uh..."

Link smiled. "I won't tell him. Although he probably already knows." Then Link left the room, leaving Malon to stare at Mudd from the corner.

**#&**

"Hey Mudd, what's the deal with you and Malon?" Link decided to let the tattoo thing go for now. He hoped the same trick would work with Mudd. Yeah _**RIGHT**_.

"What's the deal with you and Inigo?"

"Wait, what?"

"I've seen the way that you look at him. When nobody's looking, you stare at him like he's some sort of hero." Mudd smiled. He was joking of course. He had heard Link saying that to Malon earlier. (Link is not gay, it's a joke!)

"Okay, you heard me say that to Malon, didn't you?"

"There's not much _don't_ hear."

"Shut up."

Then Inigo burst through the door yelling. "I have it! I have it!"

"You have what, Inigo?" Malon asked.

"Why, it's just the latest _wave of the future." _Inigo said pulling out a strange box (cough radio cough ). "It can use some strange magic, and you can hear music, and people talking!" Inigo continued to gloat.

"Let me see that!" Mudd took it and pressed the on button.

"_**Hello folks, this is our very first broadcast, and we would like to say one of the most important messages in history, princess Zelda the 143rd has been kidnapped, and held hostage by a band of desert Gruedos! The king of Hyrule himself must deliver 2,000,000,000, in cash two days from now, or Zelda will be hung by the neck. A garrison would never make it in time, so it looks like we have no way out of this situation. God speed. This is Bob-Joe-Fred, signing off." **_

Link slapped the raido off the table, which broke into sevreal pieces. "We do have a way out!" He roared.

Mudd stood up with him. "You're right, a full garrison wouldn't make it, but a well planned small one would. I know a group of Zora who would come at the drop of a hat!"

"And some Gorons to!"

"No, they would slow us down. Good as they are, we need stealth for this mission." Mudd replied. "Besides..."

"Besides?"

"Every second talking is a second wasted. Let's go-go-go!"

And off they went.

As they left, a light brown cucco flew in through the window.

Link and Mudd both jumped onto their horses (which were talking to each other) and took off at full speed.

!!#!#!#!! At Zora's Domain !)!(!!&!!#!!#!!&!!

"The princess is being held captive?!" A warrior-Zora asked. "Of course we'll join you! Right men!" Most of the fighters nodded. "AND women." The rest of them nodded.

!!#!#!#!! At Zora's Domain !)!(!!&!!#!!#!!&!!

!!#!#!#!! I mean, on the trip there(!!&!!#!!#!!&!!

Link and Mudd were at the lead of the party. Actually, there was no group behind _or_ in front of them. The average Zora found it impossible to ride a horse, so they would either swim in a nearby river or walk.

This time they were swimming.

"So when you said 'besides' back at the ranch, what did you mean?" Link asked.

Mudd hesitated before answering. "You see, the Zora and Gorons have been enraged with each other, and it's only a matter of time before a full-scale war starts. But most people don't even know that they are mad. Average Hyrule citizens have a hard timme staying mad at Gorons for long, and others think of the Zora as proper beings, but also know how to have fun, and see no reason why they shouldn't get along."

Link closed his eyes, taking in what Mudd had said.

"Which side would you choose?"

"The Zora, of course!" Mudd said with no hesitation.

Link wasn't sure what side he would choose. A few weeks ago, he would have said Goron. But then he met Mudd. He wasn't sure anymore.

_I'm changing._ He thought. _ And I don't know if that's good._

"Hey Mudd-" Link never got to finish his question, because at that moment, a Zora yelled: "The Red Mountains are in sight!!"

Meanwhile

"Yes Master Goro, I'm sure it was him I saw." A strange scientist said.

The large Goron in front of him smiled, an evil smile.

"**Good, my servant. You may live two more years."**

"T-two more years? B-but you have been looking for him for years! Surely-"

"**Remain silent and be thankful I did not hear that out burst. I am felling good today."**

"But I have remained faithful for years! I deserve better than this!" He yelled.

"**Guards, take this imbecile bug out of my sight. And I better not see him again. EVER!!" **As he said that, to other Gorons carried him away.

"NO!! NO!!" The evil Goron smiled as he listened to the mad scientist's screams of pain and torture.

Starlll: I wonder why that Goron was looking for Mudd.

Pearson: (calmly) He probably just wants to kill him.

Starlll: Or maybe he's trying to start that war Mudd mentioned.

Pearson: (calmly) Maybe he wants to start a war and thinks Mudd is the only one who can stop him.

Starlll: Why are you so calm all the time? It's kinda freaky.

Pearson: Or maybe Mudd owes him a lot of money.

Mudd: (entering the room) (Twilight princess Generation) Or he could just be an old enemy of Mudd's.

Starlll: Either way, it can't be good.

Thanks for adding me to your favorites, ArtyQ50!


	8. Can't think of a title Oh well

Note: There will be a LOT of Grudeo deaths in the following chapter.

A/N

Starlll: (singing "I'm walking on sunshine) I'm Walkn' on sunshine! Ooh-oh! I'm Walkn' on sunshine! Ooh-oh! I'm gonna feel good! Alright now-

Mudd: What are you doing?

Starlll: I'm wicked happy: Three people added me to their favorites, I'm getting like, a thousand reviews-

Mudd: I asked WHAT you were doing, not _why_ you were doing it!

Starlll: Well isn't _someone_ a grumpy pus today!

Mudd: Hey, I have to fight an army of Grudeos today, that Goron knows I'm still alive, AND MY (censored) TATTOOS ARE BRUNING AGAIN!!!

Starlll: It's not my fault.

Mudd: YOU'RE THE ONE WRITING THIS (censored)!!!

Starlll (dives for cover) HE'S GONNA BLOW!!

Disclaimer: Did I forget to write this last chapter? Oh well, who cares?

Free advertisement: Beauty and the Sneak, by krisella. It's in the Super Smash Bros. Section, and more of a drama/ light humor sort of thing.

Zelda passed out in some Grudeo-made gallows, In front of the Grudeo Fortress. Several dozen meters away, Mudd and a Zora-archer were hiding in a tree with their bows pointed toward her direction. (If any of you science geeks are going to tell me that there are no trees in the desert, I'll have my panther attack you.)

The Zora hidden with Mudd was named Rutabaga, and whenever Mudd went to Zora's Domain, He would teach him the finer points of archery. Though Rutabaga wasn't nearly as good as Mudd, he was a fast learner.

Rutabaga took aim at the rope tied around Zelda's neck, but then lowered it and Mudd said, "What are you doing?"

"I'm worried, what if I hit her?"

"A bit late for worrying now. Watch the master: Pull back; Aim; Let go. No hesitation."

The unsuspected arrow traveled straight through the ropes around Zelda's neck, and hit the Grudeo behind her.

At that exact moment, Link ran through the crowd and caught Zelda as she fell down. The rest of the Zora army slid down the side of the fortress throwing the lookouts (some lookouts they are) off the side.

Link threw the unconscious Zelda to Mudd (That's like, three broken laws right there) and he passes her to Rutabaga, and he took her away from the battlefield to check if she was alright.

Mudd used his knives to slash through the Grudeos to Link, who was at the time, fighting five people at the same time.

"Throw me up high!" Mudd told him.

"What?" He asked, stabbing a persistent Grudeo.

"Just do it!!!"

So Link did do it, and Mudd slid off his bow and shot about twelve Grudeos while in midair, then landed next to Link, who had a moment with no persistent Grudeos, just the ones who go down without a fight. Am I smiling as I write this? This is just slaughter.

"Nice trick." _STAB!_

"Thanks!" _SLASH! SLASH!!_

QWERTYUIOPOA After the Battle SDFGHJKLZXCVBNMQWERTYUIOPASDFH

"How many casualties?" Link asked a random Zora.

"Four have broken limbs, and one fell off the fortress about halfway down and will be in the hospital for about three months... he'll recover though."

"And how many deaths?"

"None. That Mudd person is really good at this thing."

"Can I see the princess?"

"She's unconscious, so fine. She wouldn't know."

"Why shouldn't she know?"

"The same reason why you can't see patients in the real hospital."

"Why is that?" Link asked.

"How the heck am I supposed to know?"

ZXCVBNMASDFGHJKL At the castle QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMQW

Mudd and Link were standing in front of the king.

Link was wearing his magic armor. (Mudd was holding his rupees for him.) Mudd wasn't exactly as honored as Link, and wore his usual black and Grey tunic that could help camouflage the wearer into the shadows.

"I must thank you for saving my daughter. Link, without your ability to think on your feet and fight like four warriors, your plan would have failed. And Mudd, without your skill and planning there wouldn't have been a plan. May the Goddesses bless you both."

U M M SDM LZDCRY After the CeremonyVBUNB9IU[NJMB[GYPOFVIUL8BV58

zaqsxwedcrfvtbgyn Why do I keep skipping around? Zaqwxsedcrfvtgbynhujmp,kmpkn

Naturally, Mudd and Link were invited to a feast later that night. Mudd almost refused, but then realized he hadn't eaten well in two days.

Link and Mudd were placed next to some of the most annoying people who made up the

most annoying gibber-jabber and stupid comments, so eventually Mudd slipped out of the dining room, leaving an almost-perfect dummy of himself in the chair.

"Hey there Muddy." One man said. "Save any princesses lately?" The drunken men around him laughed at his 'joke'.

"Not talkin' eh? Maybe you just need a bit more... ALE IN YOUR MUG!!" Another said to the wooden dummy.

Link's eyes rolled to the heavens. _Somebody kill him._

Then another one asked "Hey Link, why did the cucco cross the road?"

"Why?" Link humored him.

"To get TO THE OTHER SIDE!! HAHEHAHEHAHEHAHEHAHEHAHEHAHEHA!"

_Somebody kill him. Please Din._

"Did'ja hear?" A drunken rich guy said. "Prof. Doofinshnats was killed!!" Another round of drunken laughter.

_Doofinshnats... he sounds familiar..._

"A bit more ALE IN OUR MUGS over here!!"

"C'mon Mudd. It's all over." Link said after the party. "Did you fall asleep?" He asked the wooden dummy that was really just a hunk of wood.

"Oh well. Let's go." Link repeated, carrying the wood on his back.

Mudd was outside the castle, sneaking up on half-asleep guards and stealing their belts/ coffee mugs.

"Why do my pants keep falling down?" One asked.

"HEY! Who took my coffee?"

"That'll teach you to sleep on the job." Mudd whispered behind the bushes.

"I think my belt is gone."

"Seriously, who took my coffee?"

"When I find out who did this, they'll be sorry that they ever messed with... SUPER GUARD!!!"

"Super guard?!" Mudd called out, a little to loudly.

"Who just said that?!!"

"I'm in trouble." Mudd said, then he looked around for Link, which didn't take long.

Link was still carrying the wooden log, which looked nothing like Mudd.

"Link... why are you carrying that log everywhere?"

"Wait, Mudd? If you're there, then what do I have on my back?"

"That's just a log of wood. It doesn't look anything like me."

"Well, how did you get out of the feast? And why didn't you get me out of there?"

"... I don't really know. You know, I blame the author."

"Yeah, me too..... what author?"

Mudd just walked away akwardly.

(Lon-Lon Ranch)

"What should we do with this cucco?" Inigo asked Malon, pointing to the strange brown cucco that they named Clukko.

"Maybe we could enter it into a cucco race."

"I know!" Said Talon. (He talked for the first time in this fan fiction) "We could enter it in a cucco race!"

"But I just said that!"

"Well... I thought of it first!"

"No, you were just wondering why we named him Clukko!"

_How did she know that?_ "Well...... just skip to the next part!" Talon yelled.

----------------------------------Unknown Location (duh!) ----------------------------------------

"Hey man, remember the way we like, totally decked that psycho scientist the other day?" One Goron asked.

"Like, totally. He shoulda kept his mouth shut."

"Hey, You like, got any rocks man? I'm starving."

Then the master-Goron dude said "**Stop talking. You're giving me a headache.**"

"Oh, man. I like, totally hate headaches. They, like, make my head ache."

"**I thought I told you to ****SHUT UP!!"** He roared. Then he asked one of the smarter Gorons "**Are you sure that this is the real Mudd? I've been disappointed before**."And to emphasize the order, he said **"Because if we're wrong about this, You won't have a chance to say you're sorry!"**

_**You won't have a chance to say you're sorry? I'd better think of more threats.**_

"D-don't worry, Master Goro, I-I have had my best spies watching him, unless he had a twin brother, this is h-him." The (lame threat had scared the Goron senseless.

"**Well you'd better hope he doesn't have a twin, because I have a couple of new torture devices that I've been dying to try out, UNDERSTAND?!!!" **He barked out the last word. So much for needing more threats.

"I-I-I Understand... m-m-master G-G-G-G-G-G-" "Goro" As the other Gorons called him, held out a clutched out fist and the spy/servant grabbed his throat like Darth Vader was using the force-choke on him.

"**What are you doing?"** Goro asked.

"Oh, sorry. I had a couple of tacos this morning, and my digestive system has been killing me-" Goro choose that moment to open-palm slap his servant and he went tumbling down the stairs.

_Note to self: For the love of God, make sure he doesn't have a twin._

Starlll: Well, I think that was a good chapter. The fight and feast didn't go as planned, but I still did pretty good.

Mudd: (twilight princess generation) Yeah. (reads the reviews) JANE O' CALLAHAN WOULD CHOOSE THE GORONS OVER THE ZORA!!?

Starlll: (makes a cage fall over Mudd) Hey! Check out my cool author skillz!

Pearson: (calmly) Nice. You got anything to eat?

Starlll: What?!

Pearson: (calmly) I skipped breakfast. And Lunch. Just use your author powers to make me something.

Starlll: Fine. (a table full of Willie Wonka Bars appears) WOW! Check this out!

Mudd: (twilight Princess generation) Oh come on. I'm starving in here!

Starlll: Mudd, you've been in there for like, two minutes. How could you possibly be hungry?

Mudd: I don't know. I've been watching 'Charlie and the Chocolate factory on my digital picto-box.

Starlll: I thought you didn't know.

Mudd: (twilight Princess generation) Shut up idiot!

Starlll: At least I'm not in love with an imp. (walks away)

Mudd: Minda's not an imp!

Pearson: (calmly) I'm just going to go with him.

Mudd: GET BACK HERE!!

(Outside my room... thing)

Pearson: (calmly) (to the T.V. Screen) for those of you are wondering why Starlll keeps bringing back Clukko, it involves the last chapter, so please stop asking.

Starlll: But no one _was_ asking.

(Pearson takes away Mudd's cage, and Mudd runs after Starlll)

Starlll: HELP!!! HE'S GONNA GET ME!!! Oh, and by the way, I accept unsigned reviews, I think. So those of you who like to wear ninja clothing, or you just can't get an account on this place (Lazy!), you can still review! I think.

Click on the blue booooxxx...... dooooo it. Dooooooooooooooo it! DOOOOOOOOOOO IT!! JUST DO IT ALREADY!!!


	9. 383 Years Ago

A/N

Starlll: (Laying down on a chair at the beach) I finally got away from those freaks in my head. (Sips iced tea) This is the life. No more persistent readers trying to tell me what to do, no homework, and no more Pearson.

Pearson: (calmly) Actually, you're still stuck with me. I'm you're conscious. Remember?

Starlll: Shut up and get out of my fantasy!

Mudd: LALALALALALALALALALALALA!!!! WAKE UP STARLLL!!!

(Starlll wakes up at his desk)

Starlll: Will you two ever leave me alone?

Mudd: Actually, when this Fan Fiction is over, I have to leave, and you'll be burdened with some other figment of your imagination.

Pearson: (Calmly) Oh yes, and I hope it's that Skinner fellow you thought up the other day.

Mudd: Skinner? He sounds familiar...

Starlll: Now Mudd, don't give anything away.

Mudd: Why? It's all explained in this chapter.

Pearson: (Calmly) He's right you know.

Starlll: Stop ganging up on me! Pink Panther! GET THEM!!!

(A pink panther (Which attacked you a few chapters ago) walks in)

Pink Panther: What is it Fu?

:/\

/\/\ (Triforce)

Disclaimer: I barely own my face, let alone Zelda!

---------------------Chapter 9 (I think) --------------------------------------------------------------

"Hey Mudd, were are we going?" Link asked. He was still carrying the log from last night.

Mudd shrugged. "I think we should stop at about... here."

They were in the middle of Hyrule Plains, (not field) and Link put down the log.

"Link, why are you still carrying that?"

"Because... well... I don't really know. I say we burn it!"

"Yeah!"

Later, that very night:

"Bonfire!" Link yelled, looking at the burning wood, before tossing in another stick.

Mudd was away, looking for more wood.

"What the..." He asked as a splinter dug into his middle finger. He carefully pried out the long sliver of wood, then found something even more interesting.

It was a third-degree burn on his index finger.

"Now how did you get here?"

_FLASHBAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

"_Go... back to sleep." Mudd told him stifling with pain. He was holding both wrists, where the tarantula tattoos are._

"_Let me see that." Link replied, ignoring what Mudd said and pulling apart his hands. "What the ****?!" The usually dark black tattoos were bright red, like molten metal._

_Slowly, Link touched it, instantly pulling his hands back and staring at his index finger. It looked and felt he stuck his finger onto a grill. "Will you tell me what's going on!?"_

"_No!" Then Mudd punched Link in the face, knocking him unconscious._

END OF FLASHBAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"It.... did happen."

"Hey Link, I'm back!" Mudd said, holding a large pile of lumber.

"MUDD YOU DIRTY-ROTTEN-LIAR!!!" Link yelled, sticking his finger in Mudd's face.

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

"YOU SAID- NO, WAIT. YOU YELLED AT ME THAT THE NIGHT WHEN YOUR TATTOOS WERE BURNING, NEVER HAPPENED!!" Then Link showed the other person his burnt finger. "EXPLAIN HOW THAT COULD HAVE POSSIBLY HAPPENED!!"

"You probably just burned your finger on the bonfire."

Link stared at Mudd, not believing that he had lied to his face. Again.

"Will you... stop LIEING TO ME!!?"

"Fine. I'll tell you. I just need to think. And you need to calm down so that the dead don't wake up."

++++++++++++=======+=+=in Mudd's tent==++==++==++==+++===+++====+++

"Since when do I have my own tent?"

++++++++++++++=====++==+ in Mudd's personal little area+_=-+_=-+_=-+_=-+_=-

"Ah, that's a lot better." Mudd was sitting up, wondering what he should do.

He could run, with Arrow ready, and a quiver full of arrows, he could flee the country, maybe to Daen, or Gilla. (Fire Emblem)

But then his thoughts turned to Malon.

He couldn't leave and never see her again.

He could tell Link, and hope... and hope that what? He doesn't think that you're a freak, and tell everyone what I said? That his secret doesn't break out, as all secrets do? Then he would really never see Malon again.

(Go ahead, you can tell Link.) An angel/Saira said.

**Go ahead **A devil/Mido said.

"Shouldn't you two be on someone else's shoulders?"

(Ask Link. I'm tired of explaining.)

**Yeah, me too.**

"Wait a moment, are you two agreeing?"

**Well, sometimes we actually _do_ agree. I mean really, that's a really good story about yourself. You only told it once, so I've been dyeing to hear it again.**

(Yes, tell him. He's your friend, and he deserves to know.)

"Okaaaay, fine."

**Hey Saira, you wanna go get something to eat?**

(Oh, I thought you'd never ask.)

They both dissapered in a puff of smoke.

"Okay then. Looks like I'll tell him." Mudd hesitated. "He'll never believe me."

"Okay Link I'll tell you, but you have to know, I won't tell you if you interrupt me-"

"I can't interrupt you? Sorry. I just had to get that out of my system."

"I won't tell you if you interrupt, and everything I'm about to say is exactly what happened. But you probably won't believe me."

Link smiled as he began to roast a cucco leg. "Try me. I'm gullible."

There were three triplets. The oldest (by three minutes) was named Solo. The second was named Skinner, and the youngest (by two minutes) was named Mudd.

Of course, these weren't their real names, but they wouldn''t go by any thing else. When they were nine years old, their house burned down with their parents inside. Happy birthday kids. So the three lived off of stealing and making various bets.

When they turned fifteen, they were totally different then six years ago.

Solo was always looking for excitement. He would make bets with oyhers that he could swim with sharks, jump from rooftop to rooftop, and other crazy stunts that could kill him.

Skinner was dark and shady. But if you looked very closely, you could see that crazy look in his eye that just wouldn't die down.

Mudd was a man who was always trying to imitate his brothers, but failed. He did however have a strange love for archery, even though he couldn't hit an elephant on steroids.

The trio had a reliantly good life, except for one very fateful day that would change their lives forever.

"Wait a minute, is this going to be one of those tragedy stories?" Link asked.

"I told you not to interrupt!"

"Sorry."

"I bet you fifty rupees that you can't load your arm with flesh-eating ants for 25 seconds!" One kid on the streets told Solo.

Naturally, Solo accepted the bet. Fifty rupees would buy dinner for a week.

Soon word spread of the unusual bet, and people began making wagers on who would win.

Skinner decided to make a theft using the bet's distraction.

Mudd watched from the roof tops, annoyed on how horrible at guarding the other people were.

Solo had put a jar of ants on left arm, closing his eyes waiting for the pain to be over. Then he suddenly toppled over in pain after ten seconds. But it wasn't from the ants. He was clutching both wrists.

Skinner was at a local shop. He was also annoyed at how lousy the guards were. He wished that he at least had a challenge as he grabbed several loafs of bread. Then he got his challenge.

He screamed as he fell head first over the walkway, food dumping all over him, but he didn't care. Skinner just wanted the sudden burning in his wrists to go away.

Mudd was laying on the roof, enduring the burning worst of all, as he rolled in pain.

Guards dived onto Skinner, arresting the young thief.

"Wait a moment. I meant how did the burn start, not when you first felt it." Link interpreted again.

"That's it, I told you that if you interrupted again, I wouldn't tell you." Mudd said as he got up and started to walk away.

"NO! Wait, I promise that I won't make any noise until you're done."

"Fine."

Note play the song 'Wisemen' by James Blunt until you're done reading.

The night before this had all happened, the three brothers were in a circle around a campfire.

They were at the burned remains of their parents house.

It was the night of their birthday, and they were beginning a strange chant.

"To-night is the-night," Solo began.

"We were born onto the Earth." Skinner continued.

"Also the-night, off our parents last-night." Mudd added.

"The times we enjoyed,"

"The times we hated,"

"Were all the same,"

"When looked at with an ice-cold eye." The three said at the same time.

"To-night." Solo started again.

"Our old lives' last day." Skinner continued.

"Our new lives' first day." Mudd added.

"Didn't change at aaaalllll!" The three said, getting louder.

"Please give us, goddesses, the gift of immortality." They said, half/yelling.

"The-gift of everlasting life" Solo asked for.

"The-gift of leadership." Skinner asked for.

"Any-gift-at-all." Mudd pleaded.

"We shall endure any curse to get these gifts, so long as we get theeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem."

Okay, stop playing 'Wisemen'.

Link thought for a moment.

"So you expect me to believe that you and your two twin brothers were cursed, got the gift of immortality, everlasting life, and any other gift you could get?"

"No." Mudd replied. "I don't expect you to believe me. But that is the truth."

Then Link thought practically. He had asked the goddesses for adventure, and recognition. And Mudd _did_ have an uncanny skill with his bow. And he _could _almost completely disappear from sight.

"I just have one question." Link told Mudd. He had chose to believe it. "What happened to your brothers?"

Mudd smiled. "Skinner was sent to prison, from the fifty-odd times he had robbed people, but they soon found that inmates were being pulverized when they annoyed him. So they sent Skinner to slavery. Solo couldn't pay off the bet, so a few others carried him away. I don't know what happened to him after that."

"What did you do while this was happening?" Link asked.

"I... I just stayed on the roof and watched." Mudd told him. It was a difficult subject to talk about.

"Just one more question: did you get any other gifts?"

"What?"

Link explained. "Did anything else happen to you that day?"

"Oh. Well that night, Din came into my dreams. Solo and Skinner were there too. We were told that we would live until something, or some_one_ came out and killed us."

"How long ago did this happen?"

"383 years ago."

A/N

Starlll: Okay Pink Panther, you can leave now.

(The Pink Panther walks away.)

Pearson: (calmly) What's with the panther?

Starlll: I don't really know.

Mudd: _Anyways_ (walks away.) Everyone who is reading, I'm starting this weekly mission thing for Ocarina of time. You think you've truly beaten it? Think again! For those of you who want to join, I need you to start a new file on OoT, and name yourself some thing different. Just send in your answers for the following questions, and by the way, you might also get through the first two bosses.

Example:

Name: Mudd (nothing cloche like: Shadow, Twilight, etc.)

Personality: Calm.

Rank: Leader/ assassin. (Assassin missions are more stealthy, and use bow skills, Warrior missions are more up-close, and sword skills.)

E-mail address: Star three (NOT MY REAL ADDRESS) (I need to know because there are more missions that chapters.)

Names already used:

Mudd, (Assassin)

Hero, (Warrior)

Eclipse, (Warrior)

Scipio. (Assassin)

Well, that's all until next time!


	10. Race again!

A/N

I don't have much to say right now...

Disclaimer: I don't know why I even try to put this here... Just skip to the story!

Free Advertisement: I thought I told you to skip to the story! Well, as long as you're here, check out Demon Bashers by AkumuKitty9797! It's about what would happen if Dark Link was bit by a vampire, and he creates a group to fight Gannon. It's really good.

_Now_, you can skip to the story.

"318 years ago!?" Right when Link was about to believe Mudd, he was told something totally unbelievable.

"I said that wouldn't believe me."

Link looked at Mudd. He was telling the truth. It was in his eyes.

"318 years ago? Well than what about the bet?"

"What bet?"

"The bet that they took Solo away for. What about the money? Did you or Solo have to

work it off... what happened?"

"I told you that I have no idea whatsoever on what happened to Solo, so I was the one who had to pay it all off."

"But how long does it take to make fifty rupees?"

"As I said before, I was broke, and people were watching me like a hawk, so I wasn't able to steal, and no one would hire me for the same reason."

Link thought more but one thing didn't make sense.

"But hasn't he realized you aren't getting any older?" Link figured it was probably a boy who was tormenting him.

Mudd answered calmly. "For all they care, I'm his great-great-great-grandson."

"Well.... who is the person you owe money to?"

"A Goron. I believe his name is Goro. And the money had interest, too. Now he expects at least six gold rupees from me."

"Gold rupees are worth five hundred... so you owe him 3,000 rupees!?!"

"Well, before that happened I accidentally killed his flying Kowalewski Monkey-Lizard, so I owe him 4,000."

"Why in the world would you kill a flying Kowalewski Monkey-Lizard?! They're too cute!"

"It was armed!" Mudd said defensively.

"You killed an armed flying Kowalewski Monkey-Lizard?! How is that even possible!?"

"Don't ask."

"But I just did."

"Shut up and go to sleep." Mudd said, ending the conversation.

The next morning:

Link woke up with a horrible pain in his back. He looked under his tunic to see a large rock lodged into his shoulder blades.

When he saw Mudd, he made a decision.

"I'm going to help you."

Mudd looked away from his morning paper.

"Really? Great! I need an eight letter word that describes a cow." Mudd said, showing Link a crossword puzzle.

"Not that! I mean with your debt. I want to help."

"Oh.... that. Well, I'm missing three hundred rupees, so if you have any idea on how I could pay it off, I'm all ears. Or you could just tell me that eight letter word."

"The horse races." Link said. "They're only two days away and you could enter Arrow, then I'd bet on you."

"I didn't even think of that. I had a 318 year head start, and you already had a better idea than me."

"I do have my ideas occasionally." Link said proudly.

"Now for that eight letter word..."

Meanwhile with the Gorons.........

"Hey, do you know how to make an egg roll?" One Goron asked.

"No, how?"

"You... push it!" 'Joked' the guard.

"**If you two don't shut up, I'll have to cram the words back down your throat!"**

The Goron nodded and ran back to his post.

Then he turned his attention to a spy. **"And for you, I want you to continue spying on Mudd."**

"O-okay." The spy said weakly. He still had a large hand-shaped mark on the side of his face from when he was hit.

The Goron hesitated before leaving, only to get yelled at.

"**WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!!?"**

"Well, it's just that I finally got those tacos out of my system and I-"

Then Goro struck him across the face again on the other side.

________________________Two Days later___________________________________

"Mudd, I just got a strange feeling that I lost two days of my life. Two days that I will never get back."

"You know what? So do I."

"Well then on to the races." Link said.

"Remember Link, don't bet it all on me right away. First you bet small time, and work your way up. If people see you so sure of yourself, then others will bet on me and it won't be worth as much."

"Yeah yeah, I got you." Link said, waving off Mudd's warning. "But will you explain again _why_ I don't bet it all in the beginning when you still have a high number on your head, and walk away after the second or third round?"

"Because," Mudd said, with a small smile. "Arrow and I don't have many chances to race with competition. We want to milk this as much as humanly possible."

--------------------------------------During the race----------------------------------------------------------

Mudd and Arrow were in position to run (They were number 8, by the way.) and Link was betting.

"Um... yes, I'd like to bet thirty rupees on racer number eight."

_Thirty rupees is more than a little, but Mudd doesn't have to know._

"Okay then. But if I were you," The man said in a Daen accent. "I'd bet on racer number 6. Don't tell the boss this, but he has probably the best chance of winning out of this whole lot."

"No thanks, number 8 is who I want to bet on."

"Okay, the races can start in three, two... one........ GO!!!" The announcer yelled as he shoot a bomb arrow in the air.

Mudd and Arrow broke off into a run the second the bomb exploded. They were only running at half Arrow's possible speed, and yet the had already passed the entire competition. The entire competition except for racer number 6.

_That Daen man was right- I should have bet on that other guy!_ Link thought. _Well, Mudd is probably just going for a bigger win next time_.

Racer six won that round.

"Bet it all." Mudd told Link right after the race.

"But you said-"

"I know what I said. I was only going half speed, and this time I'll go full, and the next time. Then you stop betting and leave, I'll meet you at the start of Death mountain trail."

"Okay..." Link responded, unsure.

"Don't worry."

______________-------At Death Mountain Trail-------------________________________

"How much did we get?" Mudd asked.

"Well, we got about 5300 in all, but only 4500 after I take my cut." Link responded.

Mudd shrugged and gave Link 800 rupees.

"Hey Link, would you mind meeting me by the entrance of the Grudeo desert for me tomorrow? I need to go and..." Mudd thought of a good way to say it. "I need to tie up some loose ends."

"Okay..."

As soon as Link was out of sight, Mudd threw apart several boulders in his way to find the Goron he had seen following them.

Mudd grabbed the spy by the neck and slammed the two hundred pound Goron into the rock wall.

"You tell Goro that I have his money!" And with that, he picked up the Goron up and threw him off the cliff.

----------------------- Unknown location (Duh!) ---------------------------------------------------

"**So Mudd finally has my money, then?"**

"Well, uh, yeah. I just said that- why are you repeating me?"

So Goro snapped the unlucky Goron's neck. It just wasn't his day.

A/N

Starlll: Sorry it took me so long to finish this. I'm in a Charlie and the Chocolate factory play and-

Mudd: Enough with the excuses!

Starlll: Shut up!

Mudd: Whatever.

Starlll: Too bad no one signed up for that weekly mission thing. I told you it was a bad idea.

Mudd: That's it! (Starts strangling Starlll)

The Review Corner!! 

Starlll: Welcome to the review corner!!

Mudd: What are you talking about? You just wrote "The review corner" on the chalk board and said "Welcome to the review corner!!".

Starlll: Shut up! Anyway, I'm just going to go over a review that I liked the most.

Mudd: You mean the review that you think we will be able to make the most puns off of.

Starlll: Precisely. This one is by Lostwonder15:

_Return of Mido and Saria! ...they actually agreed...haha. So Mudd is immortal...well no wonder._

Mudd: It's no wonder why I'm immortal because I'm so unbelievably awesome.

_To bad about Skinner though. I wonder what will happen next now that we know why Mudd has those things._

Mudd: It's too bad about Skinner? What about Solo?!

_Your talking about the end already? I would like you to contiue for awhile!_

Starlll: The end _already_? I knew the end before I started!

Mudd: You misspelled 'Continue' by the way.

_I wonder why Mudd got the worst of the burning though, he was in my oppinoin the most mature of all of them, so why did he get the worst of it?_

Starlll: Most...... Mature......? (Rolls on the floor laughing)

Mudd: _That_ will be the day!

_Guess I'll find out soon! _

Starlll: No, you won't find out soon. I just made Mudd suffer because I don't like him.

Mudd: It's true!

_(P.S. I have a dog MUCH better then your panther!)_

Purple Panther: Saaaaaaay whaaaaaaaaat!?!?!?!??!?!?! Thaaaaaaaaat's iiiiiiit! Iiiiii'm Gooooooona fiiiiiiight thaaaaaaaat dooooog iiiiif iiiit's theeeeee laaaaaaaast tiiiiing IIIIIIII doooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Starlll: Why did I make him use vowels so much?

P.S.

Mudd: Who was racer number 6 anyway?

Starlll: Excuse me?

Mudd: Well, you usually make people come back to haunt your O.C.'s. Racer 6 seemed fairly important in this chapter... so tell me!

Starlll: Could, should, would, won't.


	11. Loose ends

A/N

Disclaimer: That pear- guitar is pretty cool, isn't it?

Free Advertisement: The Wind Waker: In a parallel universe by Jane O' Callaghan is one of the funniest things that I have ever seen. Link is a coward who just wants money, Arill is a dictator, and The King of Red Lions is named Larry! What more could you ask for?!

Last time on His Name is Mudd:

"_Hey Link, can you meet me at the beginning of Grudeo Valley?" Mudd asked. "I have a few loose ends I need to tie up."_

_With Goro:_

"_**So Mudd has my money?"**_

With Malon/ Inigo/ Talon

"_Wait a moment, there was no scene with us last time!"_

This time on His Name is Mudd:

Mudd was on a cliff overlooking Hyrule field. He was drifting in thought as he looked at the several different paths.

One was a forest as dense as a moonless night.

One was a Lake, which he knew held his fate.

One was the domain of beings that could breath underwater as easy as above water.

One was a village with people who were poor, yet willing to give anything to others.

One was a mountain as dangerous as death.

One was a town in which the princess lived.

And one was a desert with no end.

"I might as well work my way across." Mudd said as a played a melody with a blade of grass.

The melody worked somewhat like Epona's song, but slightly different. Mudd had explained to Link about two months previously how it worked.

"_This song only works to this exact rhythm and tune. You could falter even one beat and Arrow wouldn't budge. If someone gets on his back, then he will buck and roll until the thief is laying on the ground."_

"_Did that ever happen to you?" Link asked him._

"_A few times." Mudd said, smiling at the memory._

Mudd jumped off the cliff and landed on Arrow's back without even faltering and headed for the Kokeri Forest.

"Okay Arrow, this is where I get off." Mudd said, knowing that all horses were afraid of the Lost Woods. Mudd had chosen the path that would go directly around the village.

Time: 10:30 A.M. Hyrule standard time.

Mudd was at the very edge of the woods. Some people wondered what had happened to the village that Mudd, Skinner, and Solo lived in. The village itself had slowly moved west, and turned into the Land of the Kokeri. The building that the three brothers lived in, however, was in the Lost Woods.

Mudd was trekking through dense trees, cutting in random spots until he found the clearing. To bad someone else was there, too.

The two instantly locked eyes and began hacking away at each other.

The other man's figure resembled Mudd's, though it was a bit smaller and faster. He wore a hood that covered his entire head, neck up.

Mudd was in for the fight of his life.

The two slapped knives like they were swords and they ended up making two 'X' shapes.

"This is a sacred ground!" Mudd yelled at the man who was trespassing.

Trespassing was a small word compared to what the black- clad figure was doing.

"I know!"

Then the two rolled away to get some distance. Mudd loaded his bow and drew.

"I'll give you a chance: You can either go and never come back, or let me kill you now."

"I'd like to see you try the second option." And the man threw a throwing knife with expert aim and cut the bowstring.

"Would you like to talk this over?" Asked Mudd, putting his bow and weapon scabbard down.

The other man put down his weapons as a sign of agreement.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" Mudd asked.

The other man, who seemed to be Mudd's equal responded:

"Wait, you're the one who was racing me the other day, racer number 8!"

"Racer... number 6?"

"Yes. And as for why I am here, you tell me: why shouldn't I be here? This doesn't have any signs telling me to leave."

This smart mouthed guy was really starting to get on his nerves.

"Go now or I'll make you."

"Weren't we at this same spot a few moments ago?" He asked smugly.

_This guy is Tapdance on my last nerve_! Mudd thought.

Racer 6 read Mudd's expression and said:

"Fine, I was done here anyway."

Racer 6 was laying down on the same cliff Mudd was on earlier that day.

_I wonder why he was so angry at me for going there._

_Maybe he had ancestors who_ _used to live there._

_Maybe he's..........................................................._

_Maybe he's..........................................................._

_Maybe.................................................................._

_No way. There is no way he's my brother. There's no way he's Mudd. _Skinner thought.

_Maybe he is, maybe he isn't. The rest of the NightGales are waiting for me._

And so Racer 6/ Skinner got up and headed for Daen.

1:30 standard Hyrule time.

Mudd had used the route from the Lost Woods to Goron City.

He wasn't sure that it was actually called Goron City. He would have to check later.

Hero was a simple fellow. He was mostly Hylian, but part of his heritage was Goron, so he enjoyed it there more than most of the world.

At the time, he was in a game room alone. Everyone else had left, but he was hoping he could find someone else to challenge at a game of poker. It didn't take long.

Mudd was being careful along the Goron halls. The fact that he was part Zora and in the city made Gorons tempted to throw him off the railing and down Death Mountain.

He carefully slipped into the game room.

"What are you doing here, Zora!?" Hero almost yelled.

"To apologize." Mudd said. "To apologize for all that time ago. Remember?"

"I remember."

Mudd and Hero were fairly good friends, but one day their gambling got too out of hand, and Mudd ended up taking 300 rupees from Hero.

"Here. Take it." And Mudd slapped 300 rupees on the table.

"I-Is this some kind of joke?"

"No. It's your's."

Hero smiled and put it in his rupee bag.

"You want to play for fun?" Hero asked.

"I'd love to."

2:00P.M. Hyrule standard time.

Link was in front of Professor Dofinshnats' laboratory.

He couldn't see very far into the lake, but he didn't seem to notice the fog.

Link entered the strange building, it was covered in dust, and all of the fish were dead.

4:00 P.M. Hyrule standard time.

Mudd was in front of Zora's Domain.

As he stepped past the waterfall and entered, he felt like he was finally home.

Mudd dived over the waterfall overlooking the domain and couldn't help a jolt of excitement. He was underwater, looking for one special person.

"Rutabaga!" He yelled underwater.

The Zora tribe was used to having their name called underwater, ans Rutabaga came swimming over instantly.

Mudd pointed to the surface and asked "You want to know the final step to becoming a marksman?"

4:30 Hyrule standard time.

"Okay Rutabaga, first off, you need proper arrows from a birch tree. You can make them by......." Mudd went over all the things people needed for good bows and arrows.

Then, he told Rutabaga about kill points. ("You see, if you want your hit to be deadly, then you should hit their heart, neck, or eyes. The face will just make them spew blood everywhere, with the equivalent of.......) the stun points (their wrists will stop all movement in their hands, ending the battle.) and many other things.

"Now I'm going to tell you the best way to practice:

When you go to Grudeo Valley, allow yourself to get caught. Then you hook shot up to the wooden window and stay there. This is one of the few sniper posts in Hyrule. Take careful aim and take out as many as you can."

Rutabaga nodded happily. Lately the Grudeos have been bothering the Zora. Time to show them who's boss!

6:30 Hyrule standard time.

Mudd was in front of Zelda's castle. He knew that he could enter to see Zelda, but this way was more fun.

Mudd waited for the sentries to switch and he climbed the stone wall like an eight-Legged spider.

Mudd never did have a fear of heights, and didn't understand why others do.

Eventually he got up to Zelda's window and knocked on it.

Zelda turned around and almost had a heart attack as she saw a face in the window.

Mudd made sure she couldn't tell _who_ had scaled the castle, and jumped down, catching himself on the way down several times until he was riding Arrow to safety.

Zelda looked at the window and pulled out a note:

T_ell super guard I said hello._

"Tell super guard I said hello?"

10:00 Hyrule Standard time.

Mudd was slowly walking into Lon-Lon Ranch, not wanting to wake anyone up.

The other six gold rupees were hidden in a bag that he had privately stored under the dirt.

After he had fished it out, he slowly crept away.

"Mudd?" It was Malon.

Mudd turned around and the contents of the rupee bag fell out.

"Let's face it." He said. "You've caught me doing worse things."

"But- wait- are those- how long did you keep that there-"

"Wait a moment, I'll tell you the whole story later." Mudd said, collecting the money.

"Mudd, wait."

There was a moment of silence.

"I love you."

Mudd didn't even hesitate. He took both of her wrists and began kissing her.

Later, the next day.

Link was waiting for Mudd. He was in Grudeo valley, just like he said, at the same exact time.

Link closed his eyes. He knew Mudd for about seven months now and Mudd _always_ did what he said he would.

_Let's see... I knew him for about 21 weeks, there are seven days in a week... so I knew him for 147 days. _Link's math was improving, too. _I met him in the late summer, so that means that winter is coming!_

"Hey, Link! I'm here!"

"Finally! What took you so long?"

"I'll... tell you later. Come on."

_Meanwhile...................._

"**So Mudd is finally on his way."**

"Y-yes master."

"**My servant, do you know what today is?"**

"Um... Tuesday, sir... master?"

"**No. Today is a bad day to owe me money."**

A/N

Starlll: WOW!! I wrote this entire chapter in one day!!

Mudd: Good job.

Starlll: You seem awfully happy.

Mudd: Yes, well....

Starlll: But hey, heck with that. I'd like you all to meat my newest O.C...... Silicon!!

(An eight year old with Jedi wannabe robes and a paper bag with a dragon on it walks in.)

____

( 0 0 )

[ ] 7 [ ]

l__l__l

_Silicon_: Hi everyone!

Mudd: What's with that paper bag with the dragon on it?

Silicon: Well, I figured that since my role model, Starlll, has one that changes every week, I should make one too!

Starlll: He's my apprentice.

Mudd: What's he trying to learn?

Starlll: How would I know?

The Review Corner!!

This was submitted by LostWonder15:

_Sorry! and Solo, though it was stupid of him to but that stuff on his arms.  
And its his fault Mudd has to pay his debt! So I feel NOTHING (echoes in the  
background) for Solo!_

Mudd: If you think that was stupid of him, you should have seen some of the _other_ stuff he did. But besides, he was just trying to feed the three of us!

_You made Mudd suffer more because you don't like him?!  
Well...I could see that...good job Starlll!_

Mudd: Wait, _YOU _also want me to suffer?

_Mudd is more mature because he  
didn't get caught, my definition of mature, he can acually escape. _

Starlll: Mudd won't _**EVER**_ be mature. And you misspelled "actually". You forgot the 't'.

Mudd: And I didn't try to escape, I just stayed on top of the roof I was on.

_Oh and I hope your panther isn't allergic to dogs, because my dog has LOTs of fur!_

Green Panther: I'm not allergic to _anything!_

Mudd: Wait, weren't you purple?

Green Panther: I can change color. I hope your dog isn't allergic to _my_ fur!

_Racer6 is probably going to haunt Mudd, you said you wanted him to suffer so make  
him suffer more! Mwhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha Sorry had a  
moment there! I'm like that...~.~ Can't wait for the next chapter!  
_

Silicon: I have moments, too.

Starlll: And as you can tell, by this chapter: That's not what I meant by torture._  
_

_(P.S. DOGS RULE! PANTERS DROOL!) _

Silicon: And Starlll is awesome!

Starlll: Isn't this little guy awesome?

Silicon: This makes me want to sing!

Starlll: Not in public.

_P.S. _Hey, Lost, can I use your dog, sort of like an O.C. In the author's notes next chapter?

P.S.S. Hey, I need a vote on this: What should I write on my next Fan Fiction:

A story about Skinner in the fire Emblem section, or a squeal about the Twilight Generation of Mudd?

P.S.S.S. The next chapter is the Finale, so be prepared for one of the most jaw-dropping amazingly-radically-wicked-super-mega-unpredictable ending ever.

_P.S.S.S.S._ Anyone who wants their story to be free advertised, speak up NOW!!

See you next time!


	12. Finale

A/N

Starlll: You know? At the beginning of this, it seemed like a tunnel that wouldn't end. But now I can see a light at the end of this tunnel, and I still can't believe what this turned into. It has about forty-five reviews, five people have it on their favorite's list, and I _know_ for a fact that more people are reading and not reviewing.

Mudd: What's with that dramatic speech thing?

Starlll: I just had to get that out of my system.

_**The Review Corner**_

Mudd: Why are you doing this now? I thought it was at the end.

Starlll: Not necessarily.

_Okay, actually! I spelt it right! _

Silicon: For crying out loud! I'm eight and I know that 'spelt' isn't a word!

_I'm so awesome!  
_

Starlll: If you're so awesome, why do you use words that don't exist?

_I agree that it wasn't mature for Mudd to just STAND THERE like the coward he is!_

Mudd: You're........ saying that I'm a coward......... How dare you!! I have been through three of the bloodiest wars you could imagine, I have to live with these (censerd) burning tattoos, and not a day goes by when I wish I tried to save them. How dare you.

_Go ahead and us my dog, his name is Lunar by the way, he likes to jump...a lot._

Orange panther: I like to jump.

_The finale, Man! Well I don't really play Fire Emblem, so I can't say anything about the first choice,_

Starlll: Oh, you should play it. Radiant Dawn is one of the best games I've ever played. And I play a lot of video games.

_  
but I would love to see Twilight Generation Mudd! I hope the next  
chapter is a super awesome, wonderful cool jaw-dropping radically and just a  
good ending! I would be sad, but when you mention the Twilight Generation, I  
got excited._

Mudd: (Twilight generation) Everyone gets excited about me. I'm just that awesome.

_So racer 6 is skinner? _

Mudd: He is?

Starlll: (Nervously) Um... no he isn't. Why would you think that. I mean,_ come on._

_I wonder if he will be in the next  
chapter...nah. And Mudd just came out of the blue with the "I love you"!  
(Slaps self for ryming(sorry I mispelled it) Well it is better then Wind  
waker generation, he likes a pirete...who says "(insert pirete grunts)" all  
the time! _

Silicon: That was LOADED with spelling errors.

_I syimpize with the Goron, I hate Tuesdays._

Starlll: Who DOESN'T hate Tuesdays?

_I've renewed my  
definition of Mature:_

MATURE (Ma-ch-er) Adj: A person who is a coward (Mudd) and should avoid me,  
at ALL times! Oh and can you sweep my floors as my maid Mudd? I have dirt in  
my carpit.  


Mudd: THAT'S IT!! WHEN I'M THROUGH WITH YOU YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO EAT BY YOURSELF!! WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'M GOING TO-

Note: The following contains threats so violent that- OHH DEAR GOD!! Mudd! That's just sick! OH DEAR LORD!! HOW DO YOU THINK OF THAT?! THAT'S JUST WRONG, MAN! DEAR HOLY LORD!!

_  
Can I have another moment? _

Silicon: Only if I can have one.

_NO IT'S THE END SOON? WHO WILL DIE?  
SO...SO...PLEASE LET THE GORON HAVE MERCY! PLEASE! One of my moments, sorry._

Silicon: SOMEONE'S GOING TO DIE!? WHY?! DEAR LORD- WHY?!

_  
The poor fish are dead...sniff. HOW SAD CAN THIS GET? Poor fish...Sorry I  
haven't reviewed as fast, but I have lots of reasons.  
_

Starlll: Those reasons better be good.

_  
Well it's getting late (well for me, unless you are near the pacific) So see  
yah later!  
_

Starlll: I live in Massachusetts.

_  
(P.S. Lunar can some times sound like a cat, he's so cute! MUCH cuter then  
the dirty whatever colored panther! _

Orange panther: HEY!

A/N (Again.)

Silicon: Starlll, what happens when one of your O.C.'s die?

Starlll: Well, Sil, the Grim Reaper comes and takes their bodies and souls away to Mars.

Silicon: Why Mars?

Starlll: Because Mars is the one place that humans haven't set foot on yet. I think. Besides, I have souvenirs of each O.C. That was either a bad idea or I lost track of.

(Snaps his fingers and a bookshelf flips over, revealing a bunch of brains in jars.)

Silicon: Will that ever happen to me?

Starlll: Only if you defy me.

Disclaimer: You know? All this time I never did the disclaimer right. Well, I'm not going to end the pattern here.

The jaw-dropping amazingly-radically-wicked-super-mega-unpredictable final chapter. Enjoy.

"So. This is it." Mudd said, gesturing Lake Hylia.

There was a giant fortress the size of Zelda's castle in the middle of the lake.

"How long has that been there?" Asked Link.

The two stepped into a boat (How long has that been there?) and Mudd rowed to Goro's Castle.

---------------------Goro-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"**Mudd is coming?!"**

"Well, yes, Master Goro."

"**I have no intention of letting him survive. Kill him and his friend and take his money.**"

"At once, master." Then all Gorons in the room left.

Goro smiled. It wasn't a blood thirsty smile, or a revenge smile. Finally, after generations of waiting, Goro was finally going to receive 4000 rupees that was rightfully his.

--------------------------------------------Mudd/ Link------------------------------------------------

"Okay," Said Link. "To get to Goro, we need a compass and a dudgeon map."

"You know, you'd think that one compass would work everywhere as long as it still points north."

"Tell me about it."

The two had to be careful getting through the palace, because if even one Goron saw them, he would sound the alarm and they would be swarmed.

"Wait a moment." Mudd said.

"What?"

"There are two guards right... there, and... there." Mudd said, pointing to two pillars.

"Hey, Joe, I have a new joke!" One Goron said.

"You do? Well, Stanley, go ahead, let it out!"

"Okay:

A pirate captain was walking on his deck when one guy on the crow's nest called out

'one enemy ship on the horizon!'

So he said to his cabin boy:

'Bring me my red shirt.'

And so the cabin boy did. The fight lasted all day, but the captain didn't loose one man. But then the cabin boy asked

'Captain, I have a question: why did you ask for your red shirt before the battle?'

'Well, if I was shot, no one would see the blood, and they would keep fighting.'

'Why, that's brilliant, sir!'

So, the next day, the lookout on the crow's nest called out:

'Twenty-two enemy ships on the horizon!'

'Bring me my brown pants.'

The two Gorons started to roll around laughing.

"Okay, now we can go." Mudd said as the two Gorons were on their backs.

----------------------------------Goro ------------------------------------------------------------------

It took Goro an hour of no reports to figure out Mudd's plans.

"**What the-"** Goro quickly dashed out of the room and to the highest tower.

------------------------------------------Mudd/ Link--------------------------------------------------

Mudd and Link were outside the door that Goro was in. Mudd had been in the palace, and wrote down every detail he saw. Goro's throne was facing away from the door behind him, so Mudd could just walk in, give him the money, and before any other Gorons would figure out that Mudd was there, he would run away and jump out the window with Link. Then they would ride the current and go wherever it took them.

"Ready?" Asked Mudd.

"Do you have to ask?"

Link kicked down the door and Mudd dashed in.

He was the only one there.

"You have _GOT_ to be kidding me."

"Where do we go now?" Asked Link.

"The highest tower. That's where anyone would go."

Note: This is where all the drama comes in.

Surprisingly, they didn't see any Gorons on the way to the tower.

The moment the walked in, a Goron snapped Mudd's bow in half.

To Mudd, his bow was a part of him, and it felt like he lost his arm when he heard the sickening snap of wood.

The entire room was filled with Gorons armed to the teeth.

"I wish we didn't have to do this." Link and Mudd said as they drew their weapons.

Go to .com/watch?v=rpR63tgzENs and watch the clip. You have to do this, because it sets up the rest of the chapter. Watch the song and picture Mudd and Link in a fight with a room full of Gorons. Then pause it when the song says "Sailors fighting in the dance hall." for the second time. For the second time.

Mudd and Link were covered in blood. Most of it wasn't their blood. There were about to move on and look for Goro, but they didn't have to.

Goro was on the other side of the room, slowly clapping.

"**Bravo. Bravo."** He said.

"I probably don't have to say it, but I have your money."

"**Hand it over**."

Mudd tossed the bag of golden rupees carelessly.

"Now that you have your money, I'm going to go."

"I think not."

Mudd was amazed. Goro always boomed out his words. Perhaps he was belittled next to the large fortune.

"What do you mean? Mudd gave you the money." Link said to the massive Goron.

"I leave no witnesses. And besides. This money is fake." Goro said, holding up a glass rupee.

About twenty Gorons armed with crossbows entered the room.

"**Shoot Mudd. I don't care about Link.**"

"Link, you're the best friend a guy could have. You're a good man with a very bad taste in friends. It was fun while it lasted." Mudd said, then threw him out the window.

"**Don't fire just yet. Mudd, if you tell me where the real money is, I might let you go.**"

Mudd stepped onto the windowsill. "It's buried. I hope you like to dig, because you'll be digging for a long time."

"**SHOOT HIM!! KILL HIM!!** Goro roared.

One Goron, one Goron who didn't have any education, one Goron who never won at anything in life, finally had one stroke of luck in his life. One stroke of luck that let a crossbow bolt hit Mudd in the forehead.

-----------------------------------EPLOUGE-----------------------------

Link woke up in the hospital.

"Link? You're awake?" A certain redhead asked.

"Where am I?"

"A hospital. Didn't you hear the narration?"  
Link struggled to sit up. Malon was in a chair across from him.

"How long was I out for?"

Malon hesitated. "Five months. You woke minutes before they were going to cut off your Life support."

"Well I'm lucky then."

"Yeah... Link, can I ask you something?"

Link remembered what Mudd said when he asked the same question.

"I believe you just did."

"What happened to you... and to Mudd?"

Link closed his eyes and told her what happened. He cut out the giant fight with the Gorons, though. Some things weren't worth bringing up.

"He's......................... He's............................. He's................" Malon couldn't say it.

Instead she told him that the night before it all happened, the one when she told Mudd she loved him. He proposed that night. And more. She was pregnant.

-----------------------------Five months ago---------------------------------------------------------

Mudd was drifting on the somewhat peaceful lake Hylia. His corpse's head still had the hole from the crossbow.

The first flakes of Winter snow fell onto the lake.

Note: Go back to the website I said before and listen to the rest of the song as you read.

"What happens to O.C.'s when they die?" Asked Silicon.

"They go to the planet where no one else has set foot on. They have life on Mars. But don't worry, I keep souvenirs."

The End!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look out for "His Name is Mudd 2"!


End file.
